Missed: a Month Gone

Another month slipped by, very quietly.  Almost unnoticed, it (those four short weeks known as February) drifted into the past.  And if I had to tell you anything important that happened in that month, I do not know what it would be.

It seems that days come and go, weather changes, I have the urge to exercise, time passes, volunteering, meetings, and responsibilities happen and then I forget them.  It's that simple.

In retrospect, I do remember one glorious weekend that consisted of both a Friday and Saturday morning spent outdoors in the early chill of morning with binoculars watching, learning, observing, listening to birds, ducks, and two river otters with fellow Audubon members, and thanking God for His creation.

Earlier this month, both BC and I entered two pictures each into the Camera Club's monthly photo contest.  I was also a judge.  I didn't particularly enjoy being a judge, but it was a real learning experience for me, and I enjoyed working with two other gentlemen, one with a Scottish background and the other with a beautiful Aussie accent.  Neither BC nor I got any "points."  We are still in the beginner's league, right where we belong. But we are learning.

The trees are beginning to bud with the Bradford pears showing their lovely white blooms and the red buds sporting their charming pink.  Hopefully we can work in a trip to Garvin Gardens to see the remaining daffodils and any tulips that may spout their little blossoms early.

I'm reaching my saturation point.  I have committed myself to enough committees and volunteering that I'm starting to feel that there is not enough free time to do any home projects.  I spent at least 5 hours at church on Sunday, went back Monday for another 2.5 hours, then had planned to return to work in the church library on Tuesday, but decided to stay home because the downpour was so heavy and unrelenting.

Ash Wednesday found me back at church doing my monthly hour of prayer in the chapel, attending part of talk on the labyrinth that the church has purchased, and attending the Ash Wednesday service.  It was also my week to work in the church kitchen for clean-up, but I had traded with a friend and worked last Wednesday, instead of this past Tuesday.

And this morning I was in the church parking lot at 8 am to drive to Little Rock to work at The Rice Depot for 3 hours.  It was a physical morning unloading hundreds of dusty childrens' books out of large, large boxes, sorting them, then repacking in smaller boxes.  When I was through I felt the need for a hot shower and clean clothing!

And yesterday I began where I had left off with the book, One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life. 

As I may have stated before, the book is not having a great impact on me.  I feel that it is because I truly faced death with my cancer 12 years ago, so each day is a gift.  And 12 years ago I did the things that I'm now reading about in this book.  For example one of the questions the chapter I am on now asks is, "If you only had one month to live, what would you ask forgiveness for?  From whom?  Whom would you need to forgive?"

I pray each morning, as well as throughout the day.  I say the Lord's Prayer until I know that my brain has concentrated on each verse, being very aware of the phrase and the meaning.  Only then am I pleased with that prayer.  And that prayer says, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."  I forgive each day.  And I have apologized to everyone I have ever wronged whom I have been able to contact.  I don't feel that I need to ask forgiveness right now, nor do I have anyone whom I need to forgive.

And the "Make It Count Moment" discusses bitterness.  I have no room in my life for bitterness. I have been hurt by others.  I sometimes don't understand why people do the things that they do, but I hold no bitterness, only hurt.  And hurt is a real issue with me.

I have a new friend who is helping to explore my relationships with others.  I am often hurt by those close to me as well as the larger community of acquaintances to the point that I spend time wondering what is wrong with me?  Am I so unlovable that only God can see who the real me is?

Tomorrow's quote is from one of my all time favorites, Mother Theresa.  She said, "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that he didn't trust me so much."  I truly believe that she is a saint!

God bless you!