Day 23 of One Month to Live: 30 Days to a No-Regrets Life

Well, rats, I was writing deep thoughts about that great book that I've been reading when I lost my power source and thereby lost my writing.  So I am showing some of my newfound integrity by starting over with patience.

What would you do if you only had one month to live?

I would let all of my family members know how much I love them and what a great job we think that they are doing rearing their children.

I would probably get rid of all of my clutter and older clothes.  I hate to think of leaving a big mess for others to clean out, but I can feel that coming, regardless.

Today was spent potty training and teething.  It was a rewarding day with the two and a half year old and I going for pedicures together.  I never realized how much fun that would be.  She acted like such a big girl, was still, and extremely polite. 

And it was so cute at the end of the day to see how proud of herself she was for going potty and poopy in the proper place all day long!  She earned a very nice toy that Momma had been saving for her.  If she follows suit and does the same excellent job tomorrow, then Granddad and I will be going to find that Big Girl bike that we promised her.  And Mamma and Pappa will enter into a new era of life.  It is so much fun!

Relaxed

I almost feel as if I am on a retreat.  The last week or almost "extra week" of the month is a "gift" from my meetings, volunteer duties, and other commitments.  It feels good to not have any places to be.

Admittedly, I am as ready for spring as everyone else.  I had that wonderful golf clinic last week and now it has been so cold and nasty that I haven't been able to get to the course since last Thursday, when it was beautiful.  What's up with this crazy weather, pray tell...

Our oldest grandchild is taking driver's training this week during her spring break.  She has been in my thoughts so often these past two days.  She has also been in my prayers, as she is learning to drive in Denver. 

Today I remembered that I probably hadn't sent a check for the older grandson's cookie sale.  A call this afternoon to his mom confirmed that Granddad and I had, indeed, forgotten to pay for those cookies to the youngest salesman in the family.

And Hank is awaiting his birthday and upcoming party.  He will turn 5 with a Bugs or Insects theme party.  Not any surprises there.  That child has always been fascinated with bugs, bug catchers, etc.

Charlie Rose is potty training and so proud of herself for keeping her princess panties dry today.  It was not an easy day, but a day of progress for her.

And Ms. Ellie Grey is just indescribable.  None of our babies was ever that easy going.  She is just happy almost 100% of the time.

Tomorrow I get an hour of pampering to get my toes pedicured.  It will be a nice outing for me, as I always enjoy the toes getting some extra attention.

Blessings on your tomorrow.
Sandy

What is "Too" busy?

You can see by this shot that I am getting a bit "artsy."  This was taken behind the Colorado Grill on Tuesday when I went to Hot Springs with my Newcomers' Bible study group for lunch.  The grill is located in an old automobile dealership, as I understand it. 

The Camera Club competition this month is windows.  Surprise!  Guess what I was looking to see on Tuesday in Hot Springs?  At the Colorado Grill.

The Golf Clinic and golfing today kept my mid-week totally tied up.  Each of those days was surrounded by appointments of one kind or the other. 

I have been praying to God about many things.  One of those things is for Him to help me to decide whether or not to take a board position on the United Methodist Women Board.  Without talking to either of the two ladies who held the post before me (both resigned before filling the job for an entire year), I have almost decided that God is saying, "No!" nice and clearly to me.  My cup runneth over as it is with church duties. 

Add to that my desire for more writing and photography, plus the volunteering via church that I am already doing, and the glass is full!

One only needs to pray and "listen," and God will answer.

Dear God, I thank you for this week.  I thank you for the strength that you give me, for the health of our family, for good friends, for this nation, for this planet, and for everything else I haven't covered.  Only You know my heart.  Only you know my pains, my regrets, my love.  Forgive me for my faults, forgive me for my weaknesses, and thank you for the many times I slip back into old sins and find only your forgiveness once again.  Bless our family, friends, and those concerns for which I pray daily.  In your son's name.  Amen.

I am still basking in the glory of yesterday's experience at the gardens in Hot Springs.  I encountered God there amongst all of those people, although it was not particularly crowded.  The flowers, the smells, the sunshine were so overwhelming beautiful and perfect to me that I felt God's very breath in that place that seemed holy for that time, which was suspended for me.

Today was a busy day with paperwork in the morning and an Education Commission meeting in the afternoon at church.

BC and I took a short walk before meeting friends for a Saint Patty's Day dinner of corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, and Irish Soda Bread.  It was all delicious.  I do enjoy food and eating, no doubt.  And to have four friends there to share with us at the Last Chance made it even more special.

Afterwards we went to our friends' home and played a partial game of Mexican Train, which will be continued at a later day.

Springtime "is" my time, is love time, and via sweet love!

A Day In Paradise

These are just a sampling of the beauty that we encountered today at Garvin Gardens in Hot Springs.  The Camera Club from The Village met there at 3:15 PM to take pictures of the lovely tulips that were evident everywhere.

The day was perfect with sun, temps in the lower 70's, and the aroma of lovely flowers drifting through the clean air.  It was a portrait to entice all of the senses! 

As I walked, observed, soaked up, enjoyed, etc., I prayed.  My prayers were mostly to thank God for the beauty of the moment, the day, the perfection of the time and the place.

It was glorious, almost as if we were receiving a glimpse of heaven.  It felt that perfect to me!  I wanted to "box up" the feeling of "perfect" and bring it home.  How selfish, I thought, even to myself...

It is hard to tell whom shot which photo, as we were both using the new camera under the direction of our club president, Sue.  But many of these my precious hubby shot.  He was listening to Sue, taking care to pick his target, watch the lighting, and click.

We had such fun that two ladies who were visiting the gardens asked Charlie and I if we were from "here."  We said, "No," and explained that we live in The Village and are "Village People."  They got a small laugh from that, then wanted to know more about the Village.

When we ran into them again later, they asked us how long we had been married.  BC in his usual fashion of shocking me said, "Oh, we aren't married, but we've been living together for 43 years."

I'm not sure who laughed the most or got the biggest kick/shock out of it, as the ladies thought that the reason that we seemed to be having so much fun was that we were newlyweds.  What a riot!  I, of course, was mortified that my husband would even suggest such a thing.  That only brought more laughter to our Camera Club friends who were within earshot.

After the pictures, we all went to Red Lobster, where we viewed each other's camera shots and ate a most delicious dinner of fish. 

Needless to say, it was an almost perfect day!

Springtime is love time and love time is Springtime and Via!, sweet Love!

First Sunday in Lent

I took this picture on a recent weekday when I was out experimenting with my new camera.  The stone is in our church garden.  The garden is peaceful and brings me to a quiet place of reflection.

Church was lovely today with a great sermon and lovely music provided by a great organist/pianist and choir.  We are so blessed at our church.

Our Sunday school class is beginning to be one of my favorite hours of the week.  We are building family!

Our blessings are so abundant.  Thank you, God!

Missed: a Month Gone

Another month slipped by, very quietly.  Almost unnoticed, it (those four short weeks known as February) drifted into the past.  And if I had to tell you anything important that happened in that month, I do not know what it would be.

It seems that days come and go, weather changes, I have the urge to exercise, time passes, volunteering, meetings, and responsibilities happen and then I forget them.  It's that simple.

In retrospect, I do remember one glorious weekend that consisted of both a Friday and Saturday morning spent outdoors in the early chill of morning with binoculars watching, learning, observing, listening to birds, ducks, and two river otters with fellow Audubon members, and thanking God for His creation.

Earlier this month, both BC and I entered two pictures each into the Camera Club's monthly photo contest.  I was also a judge.  I didn't particularly enjoy being a judge, but it was a real learning experience for me, and I enjoyed working with two other gentlemen, one with a Scottish background and the other with a beautiful Aussie accent.  Neither BC nor I got any "points."  We are still in the beginner's league, right where we belong. But we are learning.

The trees are beginning to bud with the Bradford pears showing their lovely white blooms and the red buds sporting their charming pink.  Hopefully we can work in a trip to Garvin Gardens to see the remaining daffodils and any tulips that may spout their little blossoms early.

I'm reaching my saturation point.  I have committed myself to enough committees and volunteering that I'm starting to feel that there is not enough free time to do any home projects.  I spent at least 5 hours at church on Sunday, went back Monday for another 2.5 hours, then had planned to return to work in the church library on Tuesday, but decided to stay home because the downpour was so heavy and unrelenting.

Ash Wednesday found me back at church doing my monthly hour of prayer in the chapel, attending part of talk on the labyrinth that the church has purchased, and attending the Ash Wednesday service.  It was also my week to work in the church kitchen for clean-up, but I had traded with a friend and worked last Wednesday, instead of this past Tuesday.

And this morning I was in the church parking lot at 8 am to drive to Little Rock to work at The Rice Depot for 3 hours.  It was a physical morning unloading hundreds of dusty childrens' books out of large, large boxes, sorting them, then repacking in smaller boxes.  When I was through I felt the need for a hot shower and clean clothing!

And yesterday I began where I had left off with the book, One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life. 

As I may have stated before, the book is not having a great impact on me.  I feel that it is because I truly faced death with my cancer 12 years ago, so each day is a gift.  And 12 years ago I did the things that I'm now reading about in this book.  For example one of the questions the chapter I am on now asks is, "If you only had one month to live, what would you ask forgiveness for?  From whom?  Whom would you need to forgive?"

I pray each morning, as well as throughout the day.  I say the Lord's Prayer until I know that my brain has concentrated on each verse, being very aware of the phrase and the meaning.  Only then am I pleased with that prayer.  And that prayer says, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."  I forgive each day.  And I have apologized to everyone I have ever wronged whom I have been able to contact.  I don't feel that I need to ask forgiveness right now, nor do I have anyone whom I need to forgive.

And the "Make It Count Moment" discusses bitterness.  I have no room in my life for bitterness. I have been hurt by others.  I sometimes don't understand why people do the things that they do, but I hold no bitterness, only hurt.  And hurt is a real issue with me.

I have a new friend who is helping to explore my relationships with others.  I am often hurt by those close to me as well as the larger community of acquaintances to the point that I spend time wondering what is wrong with me?  Am I so unlovable that only God can see who the real me is?

Tomorrow's quote is from one of my all time favorites, Mother Theresa.  She said, "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.  I just wish that he didn't trust me so much."  I truly believe that she is a saint!

God bless you!

Day 5: Oxygen Mask

Eisenhower State Park in Texas

The subtitle of this chapter in the book is "Breathing First."  One of the quotes at the beginning of Day 5 is the statement that the flight attendants make at the beginning of each and every flight.  It's something like, "In the event of an emergency, the oxygen mask will fall from the overhead compartment.  If travelling with small children, place the mask over your own face before first assisting them."  The idea here is that we can't take care of others unless we first take care of ourselves.

There is so much "meat" in the few pages of this chapter that if it weren't for copyright law, I would probably just quote the entire chapter.

Basically it's about taking care of your own spiritual, emotional, and health needs before helping others.  And there are warnings about not going to extremes.

Because I am so overwhelmed with the content of this chapter, I'm delving right into the suggestions at the back, which cover the content better than I ever could.

Suggestion 1 asks the reader to rate health in each of four areas - spiritual, physical, emotional, and relational, from 1-10 with 1 being terrible and 10 being great.  Relational is the one that I currently need to put on my "to do" list.  I'm feeling as if the rest are all near the 10 mark.

Suggestion 2 asks the reader to journal about a specific goal for each of these four areas.  Goals must be practical and measurable.  Those I will definitely have to ponder.

And the third suggestion on the "Make it Last for Life" list is to log on to http://www.onemonthtolive.com/ and spend 15-30 minutes daily (for the rest of the month) working on the spiritual, physical, emotional, and realtional health.

Blessings on your day as I head over to the One Month to Live website.

Day 4: Power Surge

Here we are one sunny Sunday afternoon two years ago in March.  We took a hike, rather long, if memory serves me, through Eisenhower State Park.  I have only good memories about that day.

Today was another lovely sunny day, but the temperatures soared into the upper 70's, which serves to tease us as more cold days are on the way.

I went to church, had one of the wonderful office staff copy things for me for our Sunday school class, then took my camera and went into the church garden to snap a few shots.  What a beautiful day to be alive, to be out, to be thankful for so much in our lives!

Today's reading in One Month to Live focused on the vineyard, the vine (Christ), the branches (us), and the pruner (God).  What I gleaned from this daily reading is that the important thing is to wake up talking to God and to keep the dialog going all day. 

I didn't read this fourth chapter until later in the day (after the run to the post office, the Farmer's Market, and my walk).  So, I'm still digesting the contents and trying to figure out how the questions at the end of the chapter apply to my life.  There are probably some things there that I don't want to face.  Or I have faced them and don't know how to change them.

I just know that I feel blessed, really blessed.  And I don't know why I am so fortunate.  But I also know that I don't think that I can ever express my gratitude to God adequately.  He really is such an incredible God.  My prayer is that everyone can one day know him.

Day 3 of One Month to Live

This is Skye's hand-woven basket, a gift from a friend I've never met.  She sent it to me about four years ago.  I eventually purchased one from her for Bogey.  Each basket has the bird's name on it.  If you look carefully at the blocks hanging on the right hand side from the handle, you can make out some of the letters.

So today's chapter is "Time Squared: Spending Your Most Valuable Resource."  I've decided that there is not a worse time in my life to be reading this book than right now.  I don't feel well, so I'm not doing much of anything except "wasting" my time.  If I really had only a month to live, I'd be in deep trouble.  But in reality, I don't know if I even have that much time on this earth.

And in truth, that is what drove me from the fear of facing my death when I had cancer.  Why worry about when cancer might kill me, when hundreds of thousands of people loose their lives daily of accidental death.  It just made lots of sense to me then. 

And today is my birthday.  I thank God for the sun and the warmer temperatures that have followed it.  They cheer my spirits, even though my body is not feeling up to its best.  Bronchitis is trying to drag me down.  Fortunately a z-pack is in my future as soon as Hubs arrives home today.

But, back to chapter 3...There is a topic "Make it Count Moment," where the author invites you to break down your day and assess how much time that you spend doing only what you do best.  I'm failing miserably at this right now.  Ugh.  I am just sitting and spending lots of times playing games on FaceBook.  What a waste of time.  In my own defense, if I felt better, I'd be out and about.  But there I go, always coming up with another good defense...

The author goes on to mention Richard Koch who wrote The 80/20 Principle.  It was new to me, but Hubs, a businessman at heart, knew of the book and principles, which are that you waste 80% of your time and get the important stuff done in the remaining 20% of your time.  Guilty, as charged!  That's me.  Only in my case I don't even know if I'm using 20% wisely.

Then the "External Clock" theory hits the scene.  That's the belief that in order for our time to count, we must be able to show something for it.  Guilty, again!  This is where the author invites you to smell your coffee, go for a walk, spend time meditating, or whatever will bring you  closer to God.

And last but not least, we come to the wonderful suggestions at the end of the chapter.  Today's first one is to keep a journal, which I am doing right here.  But I am not going to disclose how much wasted time that I've spent on the Internet today.

The next suggestion invites the reader to ponder their biggest time waster in the past week and the payoff.  I like the idea of listing "other" ways to "spend" that time.  I have the answers, just not the will to do it, although I am becoming more aware of how I am spending my time.  I like this because I am doing more with Hubs at night, trying to get in bed when he does, and generally be more attentive to him.

The last suggestion in this chapter is to rate which season of life the reader is currently in.  It gives suggestions of hibernating emotionally or preparing to burst forth with buds like spring.  I think that I'm in a "holding" season, waiting to get back some energy and better health.

Okay, I sneaked a peak at tomorrow's chapter.  The first quote is from C.S. Lewis:
                               

You don't have a soul.  You are a soul.

       You have a body.

And with that behind me, I am going to get ready to go out into God's perfectly made day and enjoy a walk in His nature listening for skuttling squirrels and chirping birds.  This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.  And no, I don't know which scripture that is.  But I'll look it up later today.

Blessings on your day.

          

Here we are three years ago in our little backyard in winter.  I guess we musta gotten a light dusting of snow and were very excited about it.  At that time, it hardly ever snowed in North Texas.  There were children at the kindergarten when I worked as an elementary school librarian who had never seen snow before this snow.  So to them, it was "very" exciting!

Back to Day 2 of One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life by Shook.  I must admit that it took all I had not to read ahead yesterday.  But when I read today's lesson this morning, I was disappointed.  The authors label the chapter, "Roller Coaster: Riding the Big Dipper" and compare it to life.  The question they ask is basically, are you satisfied to always play it safe or do you sometimes step out on a limb...  The usual Bible comparisons were suggested.  And while I can't see myself as ever being a David facing Goliath, I am a cautious risk taker.  Which means I don't take risks.  So I am a coward.  I doubt if I have ever done one daring thing for Christ.

Then the question that the writers pose at the end of the chapter is that if the reader knew that his life would end in a month, what would be the biggest regret.  My reply to my husband, as we sat discussing it, was that I would have wished to be a better mother.  He, of course, assured me that I was a good mother and that perfection is not to be obtained by anyone.  In the end I am satisfied that I was a better mother than my own and that our children are all better parents than we were.  That really is success in my book.

Another question is if the reader is suffering from the "Someday Syndrome" and if so, what are you putting off to do someday?  My biggest Someday Syndrome is exercise.  It was also my mother's biggest Someday Syndrome.  I remember how it used to irritate me to hear that she was going to start exercising when such and such happened.  I, on the other hand, get started with exercise, then life gets in the way, and I just want to scream.  Right now I have a nasty little cold or virus or allergies, and I just flat out don't feel like moving.  But then in my life, there is always that little "something" getting in the way.  The Human Condition is not always an easy path.

The last suggestion at the end of the chapter was to find another metaphor that would more aptly describe ones' journey better than a roller coaster ride (because heaven above knows that I don't "do" roller coasters).

I know in the past I've described myself as the gingerbread man, getting scorched in the oven.  Or I have definitely identified with desert experiences or being in the valleys.  I've had those mountain top experiences, too, so I don't want to sound entirely negative.

I'm starting to think that the book would have had more of an impact on me if 1) I were younger 2) I had not already faced death head on.

But I am feeling better due to the Neil Med sinus wash and the Mucinex.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and I don't even mind.  I'm indifferent to it.  Birthdays really aren't important to me anymore.  I guess in a few years they will be, but right now I just enjoy each day as it comes and move forward.

Thank you, God, for this day, for the sunshine, for family and friends, for our great country, for a warm home, good food, and a safe haven.  You are a good God!

A New Day!

It is a new day, but I am posting an old picture.  It's a picture taken almost 3 years ago when we lived in another city, another house, another time.  And it was after a hail storm, as one can witness by looking at the mess on the sidewalk.

Today I started reading a book that I discovered while at our youngest child's home recently.  It's called One Month to Live: Thirty Days to a No-Regrets Life and is written in one collective voice by a minister and his wife who have a church in The Woodlands outside of Houston, TX.

The jest of the book is prioritizing your life as if you only had one month left on this earth.  I pretty much did that 12 (can it really be 12?) years ago when I went through breast cancer, complete with chemo and radiation with several surgeries thrown in.  But this is another time in my life, and I am feeling the need to grow closer to God without having to go through the desert experience to get there!

Day 1 has a suggestion to write down five things that one would do if one only had one month to live.  I have decided to use my blog as a journal for this.  My five things (to be listed quickly without thinking all day) were these:
* Become closer to my family
* Spend more time in God's word
* Enjoy nature more
* Improve my physical body
* Communicate more as an active listener to my hubby

So here I am, armed with a well-written book, my desire to move ahead on my faith journey, and a need to get to a better place than I am in right now.  There is always room for improvement, but for me that time especially seems to come during the long, dark, cold days of winter.

On Day 1 there are two quotes to begin the chapter.  I am going to take the liberty of using them.

The first is this, "Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives. -- Alan Sachs

The second is this: "I am convinced that it is not the fear of death, of our lives ending, that haunts our sleep so much as the fear...that as far as the world is concerned, we might as well never have lived. -- Harold Kushner

You are welcome to accompany me on my walk, if you wish.

Blessings on your day.

The Good (or the BEST), the Bad, and the Ugly

This is a color picture that I took on December 26 from our son-in-law and daughter's back patio.  I am not a snow fan, but this sure was beautiful.

This shot, also color, was taken from the patio and shows the neighbor's backyard.

I am thinking that this has been a most usual week with some roller coaster rides along the way.  And anyone that knows me knows that I don't "do" roller coasters.

Sunday I stayed home from church because I was on my fourth day of an upset stomach with digestive system problems.  I felt chilled, so I started a fire in the fireplace, which is powered by propane (remember we live in the woods).  I've noticed a strange smell, but I did know that it wasn't the deadly propane gas because I had to take a sniff test and sign off on that the day the propane was installed, about a year ago.

Subsequently, we have been  noticing that our air filters to our heating units were getting dirty really quickly.  In fact we changed one Sunday evening and by Tuesday, it was pitch black.  But we are slow to catch on.

Our builder first suggested that we just needed to change the filters more due to living here in the woods.  That was after asking if we burned candles.  Of course, I have about eight decorative candles, but because of our birdies, I never burn them.  Candles can be deadly to the birds.

On Tuesday morning, BC came to wake me up with the words, "I think that Birdie is dead."

I have had Skye Bird-Dee for five years.  She was the spunkiest little bird I've ever known.  And she did the cutest things.  Her only problem was she thought that she was the Queen of our home, one of us, a person.

The greatest shock is that I do so much to take care of those birds.  They are parrotlets, the world's smallest parrots, and there are many things that we do and don't do to protect their health.  Their life expectancy is beyond twenty years, so I was totally blind-sided by her death.  She had been out just the night before playing with us before bedtime and was her usual upbeat self. 

These little guys, weighing only 25 grams each, have their own huge parrotlet palaces, and each has another cage for bedtime sleeping, as they need up to 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night.

That has to be "the bad" in my week.  I've mourned her loss all week, as anyone who has lost a beloved pet will understand.  We are now considering a special place to bury her little body.  "Fly free and high, my little Skye!"

"The Ugly" came on Tuesday when the cleaning lady noticed all of the black residue on our mirrors and on the mantle.  That is when we started putting two and two together.  After looking around, I discovered that we actually have soot high on the ceiling and walls of the kitchen, which is a soft butter yellow.  It's so bright in our kitchen and there are so many shadows up high, due to a very high, huge skylight, that the soot went unnoticed.  I don't relish the idea of painters being in here with ladders that will reach up to at least twenty or more feet to that corner of the room.

The propane man came on Wednesday and diagnosed the problem as wrong placement of the logs, which was sending all of the fumes, fire, etc. into our home instead of "up" the flue to the air outside.  He had a variety of fixes, including installing a different set of logs or charging us $100.00 to clean the soot off of the ones we have, as they are black.  At the very least the log placement needed to be adjusted.

Our builder didn't agree with all of that, so he called the people who had installed the firebox to send someone out to take a look at it.  That young man came yesterday, and he agreed with the original diagnoses.  He moved the logs over so that they were properly placed, adjusted the propane so that the fire doesn't burn so high when lit, and gave me the names of some cleaners to purchase to clean the logs myself for a lot less than the quoted $100.

The good parts of my week have been in meeting Christ where he walks with me through these minor trials which at one time would have thrown me into a spin zone.  I have pondered about what I was supposed to learn from this.  Christ has been on my mind a lot this week.  And that is not just "the good," but it is "the best!"  And in all of that I have prayed so hard all week for those who have much more serious problems than I, and I have had conversations with people who love me and care for me and want to share my hurts.

Each of our two daughters shared a story that happened to them this week that shows God walking in their lives doing some big things.  That is such a joy for a mother.  One of them told her story in a rather painful way because she questioned herself, then found that God wanted her to do exactly what she did do.  The other reached out the be the hands and feet of Christ to someone with an infant in medical distress.  I am so thankful for these young women and how they are living their faith.  Oh, God, thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of their lives!

I end with this prayer:

God, I think you for being with me this week, for all you do, for your goodness. 

My prayer is for healing for the many who are hurting physically, mentally, and spiritually. 

And I give thanks for the little girl, our first granddaughter, whom you sent to us 15 years ago this past Wednesday.  Lord, it is not easy being a teen in today's world.  Be with her and the adults and teens in her life that she may feel your presence and your grace.  Amen.

A Day of Loss

So this little bird, Skye, who came into my life about 5 years ago in the spring, left me to fly free sometime in the night last night.  My day has been full of activities and so I haven't had time to really grasp the meaning of her passing.  I will tell you that when I came in from exercise this morning and heard the pitiful calling of her "adopted" brother, Bogey, my heart broke.

Skye was the "only" child for quite awhile.  But Bogey probably doesn't remember life without Skye.  He misses her and seems to be calling for her.  I know that he doesn't quite understand that she won't be coming back.

And the reality of burying a precious pet that I expected to outlive me is painful to say the least.  I mean, how could that little spark of spunk just up and die in the night when she was fine at dinner last night!!!

And as I dealt with my own personal loss, I heard from an "old" college friend.  Her husband and she have waited for years (our oldest grandchild turns 15 tomorrow!) for their first grandchild.  That little boy, only 6 weeks, is in ICU tonight with a respiratory virus.  And the mother of their newer grandchild, only 1 week, is now being treated for a nasty infection from the c-section she had in delivering him.

My problems are minor in comparison, but I remind myself that it is okay for me to grieve and be sad in my own life while respecting and appreciating the bigger walks of others in my life and world.

And I thanked God this afternoon on my way home from Hot Springs for watching out over me with my straying mind and absentmindedness.  There is a time for all seasons...

Blessings on you, my precious friends.  You are dear to me.

This is our younger grandson the day after Christmas.  He was eager to go outside and play in the snow. 

Nana especially likes this picture of him because his blue jacket and hand-knitted cap matched his beautiful blue eyes.  He is a hand-full, and we love him dearly.

I did not take a picture of the famous goose that I finally cooked today.  It weighed (total weight) just under 10 lbs.  What I didn't realize is that the farmer from whom I purchased the goose packed ALL of the parts inside the goose including the feet!  Yucky poo!

I had to cut the long neck off myself.  That took a lot of wrestling in the sink.  I wouldn't have minded, but I had already exercised this morning at Strong Women!!!

That bird was delicious, but really not worth the tremendous amount of effort, time, and clean-up that went into it.  We both enjoyed it, and we will have it again for leftovers, but that's it for home preparation of goose.  I tried it, and it wasn't even on a "bucket list!"  Hubby agreed because he got in on the last part of the preparation and helped with the cleaning of the huge mess.

Tomorrow I am back to Weight Watchers after our two week Christmas break and back on track for being a healthier me in 2011!

At our Stephen Ministry class tonight we each wrote down on a sheet of dissolvable paper a thing that we wanted to accomplish this year, something we wanted to improve upon, or something we wanted to get out of our way because it was impeding growth.  Oh, there are so many things!!!  I choose something that I want to do this year to make me a better person.  I am excited because it's something that I can do daily and see benefits in lives around me.

Blessings on your health, your family, and your new year!

Happy New Year: 2011

I must hurry and type quickly before the day is done, as it most likely is.  Six football games have marched across our TV screen today.  Hubs phone has chirped non-stop with messages to and fro about games and outcomes.  Oh, me.  And to add to the noise of chirping phone and TV is the new Audubon clock that chirps a different bird call each hour.  Whoa is me...

Just a post to begin 2011 and say, "hello" and to wish all a beautiful, healthy, happy 2011.

Love and blessings,

This was taken at the Vicksburg National Park on our trip home from North Carolina.  The end of this battle...

Sandy

Where Do the Days Go?

Today my focus started out being yoga and walking at The Coronado Center.  After I had loaded yoga mat, pedometer, iPod, towel, water, and an apple in my bag and placed it in the car, I realized that I couldn't find my keys.  A quick call to the golf course revealed that The Hubs had the other set with him.

When Hubs returned from golf we searched through the garbage, my clothing I wore yesterday, the car, my purse, the bag I carried my knitting in yesterday, the closet, the bathroom, the kitchen counters, the butlers pantry, the recycling.  And then we did it all over again...

Needless to say I missed yoga and walking.  And this only 1 day after losing 2.6 lbs. at Weight Watchers.  I was so frustrated and mad at myself.  We continued to search off and on all day to no avail.

This evening we went to The Camera Club's annual Christmas Dinner at Granada, which has a new name for the restaurant, but I can never remember it.  The important part is that our grouper was delicious!  And we got to sit with a couple whom we know slightly from church and get better acquainted.  And one of the five pictures that I was allowed to enter for viewing was a cute shot of a grandchild in the bathtub.  Best shot in the powerpoint, in my humble opinion...  Okay, I'm biased when it comes to the grands.

Once we returned home, I started work on alphabetizing our address labels, then looking for recipes for the pork loin that I am going to cook tomorrow.

The Hubs was watching the Mavericks, when he decided to take a "break."  As he left the room, he said, "Did you see your keys?"

I replied, "What?"  I thought that I had misunderstood him.  I thought that he said, "Did you find your keys?"

That silly boy had searched yet again through my purse, which I had fully unloaded early this morning (or so I thought), and he found my keys in the nylon fold of the lining.  Grrrrr.

I am thankful for Hubs finding the keys, but I am so annoyed that something like that has the power to change the course of my day, as I allowed it to do.

Tomorrow I am going to go to Strong Women, for the first time on a Thursday.  Except I just remembered that on Thursdays, it is 30 minutes earlier.  I "do" so hate to get up and out of the house early on a warm day, but with this yucky cold, it is twice as hard.  I'll do it for the fat that continues to cling around my middle like crumpled tissue.

We are checking the game cam each morning to see if the small critter that resembled a bear (at the edge of our woods/backyard) returns.  Yesterday morning we had two grazing deer.  They are just so awesome to watch.  Our resident skunk has not been around lately.  That is a pleasant thing, as he gave us more than one good scare this summer when he wandered on the patio to join us for dinner.

I am so thankful for so many things.  God is so good.  I am praying for some who are walking in shadows to once again be able to see God's love and the sun that shines down on us from above.

Blessings,
Sandy

Just Another Day in the Village

This is the view of our backyard this week.  It is so beautiful!

Our pond continues to do well.

After six months of trying, I was finally available and able to attend the Morning Connection at Diamante Country Club this morning.  It was both entertaining and inspiring to hear the guests speak.  Definitely a nice Christian group to attend.

I am finding myself in a hard place right now.  It has been a rough year for me now that I stop, look back, evaluate my activities, and try to analyze my relationships. I am so thankful that I have God in my life and am aware of how the devil would like to drag me down that hole called depression.  I am definitely in a battle to win a war against evil.

In an attempt to broaden my horizons this week, I've attended the camera club meeting, the Audubon club meeting with Tim Ernst, and walked a trail walk with Audubon members.  In addition I attended a circle meeting at church that I had not yet attended and am now in the process of making caps to be given to hospitals, if I understood correctly.

The holidays are coming up.  They are never easy for me during a good year.  I have no idea what they will hold this year when I am already feeling beaten down.

And I am afraid that the gray days of winter and the rainy days of fall are colliding on my little world.

The good news is that Bogey is going to be okay with a change in diet over the period of a few weeks.  The all day excursion to get him to an avian vet was worth the effort.

More good news is that I'm getting closer to being my pre-cruise weight.  I am definitely not in favor of any more cruises unless they are veggie cruises for those trying to exercise and lose weight.

Monday on my way home from church the first time (I had three trips in one day for meetings and Bible study), I stopped at Balboa Baptist Church to take a picture of the tree and sign that they have out front.  Beautiful!!!!

Dinner was really special this evening because some friends from Little Rock came out to see our house and have dinner.  It was a special time with good people who are "real."

I pray that the Lord with Bless and Keep You. sw

What a week we've had! On Tuesday evening we attended the Camera Club. They announced that Tim Ernst was going to be in The Village for the Audubon meeting on Friday, so we planned on attending that.

Tim Ernst is an Arkansas born and bred photographer, who just took his first out of country trip to Iceland to film in the back country for 2 very intensive weeks. The presentation of those slides, set to Icelandic music, plus his latest coffee table book on Arkansas in Autumn was magnificent to view!  The presentation was beyond our wildest dreams. It started the fires burning.

This morning, we got up early to attend one of the three trail walks offered in The Village. We were blessed to have a great guide, an Audubon member, lead us on our hike. And to make it even more fun, one of the newspaper writers from The Village Voice was on our trip to report.

This is the Trail beginning and ending.  I loved the colorful trees.

This is a picture of the snake's head with his mouth wide open.  His body is in the photo below this one.

After the trail walk we went into "town" to the acquarium store, The Wild Bird Center, then back to The Village to attend a "fest" of sorts at The Coronodo Center hosted by Heifer International.

Just Another Beautiful Day in Paradise

Of course, it not "just" another beautiful day in paradise.  It is just marvelous.  Every corner, every turn is another photo opt.

This morning we went to hear Tim Ernst, a photographer/author speak and present at the Coronado Center.  The presentation was wonderful.  We walked away with "only" three of his lovely books.

I went to Farmer's Market this afternoon and picked up my order, and I also ordered a goose to cook.  This will be a first for me, as I have never cooked a goose, much less an "organic" one.  And I don't mind mentioning that it is a rather expensive little goose at $75!

On the outside my life is sunny and life is perfect.  On the inside, life is not as simple.  I am in an inner conflict with myself.  It is not an easy time for me.  Internal struggles are battling.